10 Books on Setting Boundaries: From A Former People Pleaser
This post contains affiliate links. I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase through these links.
Sometimes you feel stretched too thin, trying to accommodate everyone else’s needs but our own.
We’ve all been there at one point or another, haven’t we? It was no different for me.
Not too long ago, I was that person — a serial people pleaser, constantly trying to ensure everyone else’s comfort, often at the expense of my peace and well-being.
This led to a turning point where I realized that I was sacrificing my well-being for people who would always put themselves first.
It took some time but eventually saw that no matter how much it may have felt as though I was, I am not responsible for other people’s happiness.
It was a tough pill to swallow and here and there I catch myself falling into this destructive thought pattern to this day.
Realizing the issue with people pleasing was also the beginning of an important journey towards self-love and respect.
But how do you begin to prioritize yourself after a lifetime of prioritizing others?
This question led me to the concept of boundaries, a subject I immersed myself in, consuming countless ‘books on setting boundaries’ and making it a focal point of discussion in therapy for a while.
What I found changed my life, and today, I’m eager to share the most impactful books on setting boundaries I’ve read with you.
Do you love audiobooks or are eager to give them a try? Click here for a 2-month FREE Audible trial and two audiobooks for free!
Boundaries: What They Are and Why We Need Them
In the simplest terms, boundaries are limits or rules we set to protect our well-being and maintain our integrity.
They reflect what we’re comfortable with and what we’re not, and they set the stage for how we want to be treated by others.
Boundaries are crucial for several reasons.
Setting boundaries helps us respect our own needs, feelings, and desires.
They also allow us to express ourselves honestly, preventing feelings of resentment or frustration that come from self-sacrifice.
Most importantly, boundaries promote healthy relationships by maintaining mutual respect and understanding in our interpersonal relationships.
The Top 10 Books on Setting Boundaries
Now, let’s jump into some fantastic resources that helped me in my journey, and I believe they can help you too. Here are my top ten books on setting boundaries:
This eye-opening book offers a comprehensive view of the importance of setting healthy boundaries in various aspects of life.
It gives practical advice and psychological insights, that have helped me better understand my boundaries and how to navigate situations where they may be compromised.
Brene Brown’s work offers a unique perspective on setting boundaries – seeing them as an act of courage and vulnerability.
The book highlights that it’s okay to establish boundaries even if it means being perceived as vulnerable.
This is an empowering guide that combines assertiveness training with the teaching of boundary-setting.
It’s a great tool especially for women struggling to voice their needs in relationships, reminding us that setting boundaries is not only okay but necessary to our wellbeing.
“Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself” by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Tawwab’s book is a breath of fresh air, offering practical strategies to assert boundaries in various relationships, not just romantic or familial.
It reminds us that peace and mental well-being often start with setting firm, respectful boundaries.
“Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day” by Anne Katherine
Providing relatable day-to-day examples and practical solutions for setting boundaries, this book has helped me understand that boundaries aren’t restrictive; instead, they give us the freedom to live according to our values and needs.
This was one of the first books I picked up about boundaries, it is a classic in understanding codependency and the importance of setting boundaries in such relationships.
It taught me the value of self-care and the courage to prioritize my own needs.
Gazipura’s guide is a rallying cry against the trap of excessive niceness.
This book provides practical strategies to stop people-pleasing and encourages readers to express themselves boldly.
It has been instrumental in my journey of breaking free from guilt, embracing the power of “no,” and unapologetically being myself.
As the title showcases, this book unveils the power of one simple word – “No.” Saying no is one of my biggest struggles.
The book serves as a reminder that saying ‘no’ is often the first step in setting boundaries and reclaiming your time, health, and happiness.
Brown’s inspiring book encourages us to embrace our imperfections and live authentically.
It highlights how setting boundaries helps us to let go of societal expectations and embrace our true selves.
“The Gift of Fear: And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence” by Gavin De Becker
This book may not strictly focus on setting boundaries, but it undeniably emphasizes the significance of trusting our intuition when situations seem amiss.
It’s been instrumental in teaching me to respect my instincts, which often react to cues I consciously overlook in the pursuit of being ‘nice.’
It’s a powerful guide to harnessing your intuition as a tool for establishing strong personal boundaries.
I hope these books offer you guidance and inspiration in setting healthy boundaries!
Looking for a discount? I’ve got you covered. If you use my Honey referral code by clicking here, you can unlock extra discounts on your Amazon purchases. Check it out and start saving on these fantastic reads today!
Want to save money and earn rewards on your book purchases? Use my Honey referral link to sign up, and you’ll instantly get 500 PayPal points (that’s $5!). Plus, Honey will uncover any additional discounts for your purchase!
Conclusion
The journey from being a people pleaser to setting healthy boundaries is not easy, but it’s undoubtedly worth it and necessary.
Boundaries setting is not about alienating others; they’re about respect and self-care.
They’re not just a set of rules; they’re a guideline to a life filled with peace, self-respect, and authentic relationships.
Did you find this post helpful?
If this post resonated with you, please feel free to like, share, or comment below. By sharing this post, you might help someone in their journey!
