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Is My Mom A Narcissist Quiz + 5 Real Life Signs to Look For

Disclaimer: This post is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. If you’re experiencing symptoms, please consult a healthcare provider.

Growing up, I felt like a second-class citizen in my home—my mom constantly overshadowed my feelings and achievements.

As I entered my 20s, this painful dynamic led to many internal conflicts and questions. Was this normal or something more?

You found yourself Googling, “Is my mom a narcissist quiz?” and the interwebs led you here.

Well, you landed in the right place and are not alone.

After years of debating my experiences with my mom and battling the heartbreak behind them, I came across the term narcissist.

We’ve all heard the word thrown around. People claim their crazy ex or demanding boss is one, but without more context, the real meaning gets muddled.

So, what does it truly mean to be a narcissist?

And more importantly, how can you tell if someone close to you, like a parent, is one?

Two women taking a selfie at a cafe
Two women take a selfie together at a cafe.

My search eventually led to resources that helped untangle the complex strings of our relationship. This post aims to do the same for you, offer clarity, and guide you in the right direction.

What are the signs of a narcissistic mother?

Narcissistic mothers often control and manipulate their daughters, leaving lasting scars.

These experiences damage self-esteem, blur boundaries, and complicate future relationships. You’ll want to take this quiz if you recognize the following behaviors in your relationship with your mother.

What does narcissism look like in a mother?

  1. They make you question your experiences through lying, denial, and manipulation. You doubt your reality and how a situation actually happened.
  2. They try to upstage you, no matter your accomplishments; they always find a way to do it better or claim to have done it better.
  3. They emotionally manipulate you, often playing the victim and making you feel guilty for asserting your needs.
  4. They “triangulate” with other siblings or family members, creating division and competition.
  5. They give inconsistent affection and approval. Their love feels conditional, leaving you craving validation.
Woman in a purple hoodie facing away
A woman in a purple hoodie faces away from the camera.

Is my mom a narcissist quiz








































After you have answered all the questions, count the number of “Yes” answers. This is your score. If you have:

  • 0-3 Yes answers: It seems your mother may not display significant narcissistic tendencies. However, if certain behaviors cause you distress, it may be worth addressing them.
  • 4-6 Yes answers: Your mother appears to exhibit some narcissistic traits. It might be beneficial to seek advice on setting healthy boundaries.
  • 7-10 Yes answers: Your responses suggest your mother may have strong narcissistic tendencies. It might be helpful to seek professional help to navigate this.

Is my mom controlling or a narcissist?

It seems like a blurred line for some between controlling and narcissistic behavior, but there is a clear distinction. Both can impact your life significantly, but these are the differences to look for.

Decision-Making

A controlling mom tells you what to do and how to do it. Her decisions tend to overshadow yours. For example, she might insist on choosing your college major. 

A narcissistic mom craves admiration for your achievements and makes everything about her. She might take credit for your successes by saying, “You wouldn’t have achieved this without my help,” or downplay your efforts by saying, “I took the same major and worked full-time. It was easy.”

Emotional Impact

Controlling mothers manipulate your emotions through guilt or fear. This often stems from their worry for your well-being. 

Narcissistic mothers lack empathy. They dismiss or belittle your feelings because they can’t see things from your perspective.

Woman sitting on a beige couch
A woman sits pensively on a beige couch.

Reality Perception

A controlling mom micromanages your life and influences your choices directly. 

A narcissistic mom gaslights you, which makes you question your reality and experiences.

Family Dynamics

Controlling moms often get involved in every aspect of your life out of misguided worry. 

A narcissistic mom plays the victim. She creates division and competition among siblings and family members.

Validation

With a controlling mother, you might feel guilty for asserting your needs because she uses emotional manipulation. 

With a narcissistic mother, her love feels conditional. This leaves you constantly seeking her validation.

Conclusion

Dealing with a parent who displays these symptoms is tough.

It’s freeing to realize what those feelings of unease and self-doubt have been. Always being on edge, questioning your worth, or never quite feeling good enough finally starts to make sense.

Two women laughing and sitting on the floor
Two women share a laugh while sitting on the floor.

Our quiz can help paint a clearer picture of the unhealthy relationship dynamic between you and your parent, but keep in mind that this quiz is a starting point, not a final diagnosis.

For a deeper understanding, it’s wise to talk to a professional. Therapy has been instrumental in unpacking these complex emotions and learning healthier ways to cope and set boundaries with my mom.

No online quiz can replace a professional diagnosis. This quiz serves as a helpful tool for better understanding your situation.

If this post hit home or if you found the quiz helpful, share it with a family member or friend who may find it useful.

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